Friday, April 9, 2010
I Love Lucy Goes To Ethiopia!
My housewife idol is Lucille Ball, which might make some of you nervous. Especially those of you married to me. It's not just because she got drunk on vitamins, or her uncanny ability to cause her husband grief (although trust me, that helps). It's the spirit in which she embarks on disaster after disaster. Her enthusiasm for trouble is inspiring!
Today I'm having a bit of a panic attack. I am very reluctant to admit I'm terrified of being a mom. I realize this has been a six year journey, and I should have this all wrapped up, but I don't. There, my terrible secret is out. Thankfully it's the least fascinating secret I have. I'd hate to think my closet wasn't full of more juicy skeletons than that. I grew up on soaps, and believe it's important to have at least 5 blackmail worthy secrets at all times. How else are you going to get kidnapped, marry your brother-in-law, watch your husband rise from the dead at least twice, have a lucrative career that involves no work, and be possessed by a demon?? Trust me, I've done the research.
We are now #49 on the list! They are anticipating 10 referrals a month, which means we could be flying to Ethiopia in 5 months! I'm so excited I could throw up. I've also eaten two bags of gummy bears which isn't helping. Believe me, I am thrilled at the possibility. There's part of me though that's looking around at our three cats thinking creepers, we raise the oddest children. I know they're not human, but one of them obsessively cleans the litter box and thinks he's a goat. Is that a bad sign? I'm probably getting myself all worked up about nothing. After all, babies don't even use litter boxes.
I think it's more the idea of chilling out in Ethiopia for a few months with our bambino by myself. It's daunting and blissful all at once. I don't particularly like the idea of sharing him with anyone, so being a thirty hour plane ride from all the family and friends eager to get their grubby little hands on him, is very comforting. That's right, I don't want to share my baby with you. I will even go so far as admit the idea of not having to share him with Doug is oddly appealing. I will miss Doug like crazy cakes, but at the same time ... Just me and the little man? Wow! That thought alone gives me goosebumps. By tomorrow I'll be begging Doug to leave his job and come with me. Adoption mood swings can be tricky.
It's much different than I imagined my entrance into motherhood would be. I pictured more of a frazzled chaos. Phoning family to help out, possibly hiring a cleaning lady for the first month, weekly rant sessions to friends about lack of sleep and too much laundry. Eventually I'd fall into an 'I Love Lucy' pattern of living. A clean house with merry mischief making. Plus her dresses were adorable! I never really thought I'd be alone in a foreign country. It sounds more appealing though in some ways. I rarely phone people when I need help, and I'm a chronic insomniac. So alone in Ethiopia, sort of makes more sense. Besides, it's not like I can't take cute dresses with me right? It's still scary though. Lucille Ball in Ethiopia? I hope I don't get arrested.
So there you have it! Even adoptive parents have fears. At least this adoptive parent. Deep down though, I believe everything will work out perfectly. I have every confidence our children will be delightful little elves, who march to the beat of their own drum, and only require minimal therapy as adults. Which really, is the only way through life. Have a wonderful weekend everyone! I'm off to drag the small goat away from my snapdragons... I really do adore my peculiar little family.