Monday, May 31, 2010
Benjamin Bunny Blues
The good news is I now have 12 of the 23 Beatrix Potter books I've been collecting. The bad news is there is very little news at all. I had 5 million (ok, maybe more like 5) blog ideas for Monday, but I'm stuck with a case of the blues. Perhaps more accurately the 'mean reds' as Holly Golightly would say.
Things seem frozen at the moment which is a rough pill to swallow. My sleep has once again been compromised. Even worse than waking up constantly from nightmares, are the wonderful dreams that end. Last night I dreamt I gave birth to twins. It was very bitter sweet upon waking. I clearly remember thinking 'I'm finally a Mom'. It was the most beautiful feeling. I often wonder if others in this crazy journey have dreams like this? A few weeks ago I dreamt I was home from Ethiopia with our son. When I realized it was a dream I felt numb. I felt betrayed by my subconscious.
On the bright side I have finally chosen the toile for our baby bumper as seen above. It's more than I wanted to spend, but impossible to resist. I also discovered these fabulous cast iron bird knobs on Etsy. I've ordered four in 'ice cream' (the pale yellow/cream) for the previously purchased dresser. So happy to have found these!!
Time moves slowly and I feel somewhat like Alice in Wonderland trying to get a grasp on the reality of everything. Will this ever happen? Am I playing a very foolish game of decorate the empty nursery?
As I carry on with my afternoon I am hauling out my yoga matt for some impromptu relaxation. I feel the need to release as much tension and stress as I possibly can. Here's one of my favourite discoveries on youtube She talks in this soft, angelic voice and uses phrases like 'blossoming like a flower'. She's terribly delicate in her manner, and I find it very charming. It feels like Beatrix Potter Yoga.
Some days even one minute of closing your eyes and breathing deeply is enough to make it through. J xx