Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dial M for Moron

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Here's one for the history books. We didn't get the house. No biggy. Another offer came in which was likely not a chain sale so we pulled out. The house is still listed on the website and as I was still drooling over it, I wondered if the sale had gone through? Had the offer been accepted? I decided I would e-mail from my other account to be coy... Not realizing my name is clearly listed on all e-mails. So "Becky and Steve" sent an inquiry from an account marked with my name in bold letters next to it. I really didn't think that one through. As soon as I see this I'm mortified. Heart pounding, red faced mortified.

I e-mail my poor friend in Ontario praying this is like that dream where you show up naked at a public place. Also known as my single drunken years. No such luck. No biggie though right? I mean this guy probably won't even remember my name. Then the phone rings... It's like a scene out of Dial M for Murder only I'm not Grace Kelly and the only thing I can possibly die of is extreme humiliation. The tension in my body is running high. I see it's our Realtor and I totally want to throw up. I am now hiding the phone under a cushion as only a truly emotionally mature woman would. I phone my husband at work and try helplessly to convince him the only answer is to move to Nebraska and go on the lam. He is too busy laughing at the situation to reply. I take this as a sign he will not be helping me pack. Then he stops laughing long enough to let me know our Realtor is now phoning him. Dear Lord. After speaking to our Realtor my husband phones me to let me know all is well. The world did not end. This comes as a great relief as I have come to realize packing up my worldly possessions is a lot of work and I'm already worn out from running around like a ninny. Our realtor also claims this happens often. I think this was his nice way of saying "your wife makes Lucy Ricardo look sane."

The lesson today folks is don't send "anonymous" e-mails from an account with your name all over it. You'll look like an idiot. Lesson two is only have a couple possessions so that when you do need to leave the country fast you're not stuck wondering if your collection of Nancy Drew novels and Buffy The Vampire Slayer dvd's will count as carry on luggage.

Happy Tuesday, and by all means feel free to leave your own tale of embarrassment. Jessa xx


  1. That is wicked funny! Thanks so much for sharing your red-faced tale, it made me feel like I am not the only one who does stuff like this. I am sure my story of humiliation will make you feel the same way: Times (they are a) Changing

  2. Oh my - that is funny! I hope that it makes you feel better to know that it is common (my best friend is a realtor and she has told me some similar stories). I have done some embarrassing things in my time too and your thoughts of wanting to pack up and move away or hide from the phone are all too familiar!

  3. Thanks Alicia! I read you blog and that is also something I would do! Doug and I once planned our vacation around my final exams and somehow I still got the date wrong! I phoned my prof in tears and he let me come out to his house and write it on his balcony. So embarrassed!

    Sharla, I'm glad to know I'm not alone!! I probably shouldn't audition as James Bonds replacement anytime soon though. ; )


  4. I'm only laughing (hard) because that is totally something I would do. You're awesome for sharing :)

  5. Hahahahahhha! Oh this is so something that would happen to me!

    So what though, had the sale gone through?!?


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