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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Blockhead


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You may have noticed I'm suffering some writers block as of late. My brain the last couple weeks has felt like a small hurricane. Actually I always have a bit of a disaster upstairs so let's just say a bigger hurricane than usual. That silly house! I'm assuming most of you remember the great e-mail embarrassment of last week concerning the house(see below for details). Well that house is still for sale! The offer fell through which put us back in the running. After a couple days though we opted out and decided it wasn't the house for us. I wasn't thrilled with the budget we had worked out which for the first time in 11 years left me being the more financially conservative one in the relationship. I think it's time I reread the shopaholic books because this won't do at all. I know they say you start to look alike after years of being together but this is ridiculous!

The other big thing on our minds was yet another adoption change. We were informed referrals under the age of one will be few. I believe the wording was for those requesting infants this will take "a very long time". I wasn't keen to read that. I'm still not sure what that means exactly other than we don't want to wait a long time. In fact, after nearly four years I think we've already waited a really long time! After much deliberation (and several tears) we decided to up our age range. Not by much mind you but up to 18 months. We are still looking at a 6-8 month wait to bring them home on top of that so we are likely looking at a two year old. I'm slowly wrapping my mind around this and gaining a bit more excitement everyday about this change. There has been a constant grieving process in this adoption and for every change I've rediscovered my enthusiasm and optimism so I suspect this will be no different in the long run.

As we think about our options for child #2 we are considering things that four years ago we thought we would never consider. This has reaffirmed for me that you can really never say never. You have no idea where you will be one, two, three, or four years from today. You may find your whole world looks different. The view from the top looks different from the view from the bottom and all we really know is where we are today. That can change in a second though. Life can change in a second.

Today we will remain in our lovely condo, and look forward to parenting a two year old! We will deal with the next steps as they arise, and remain thankful that we have amazingly supportive friends and family, and most of all we have each other. Sometimes a nice deep breath makes everything clearer, and hopefully I am one step further from the blockhead condition I have currently found myself in.

Jxx
Jxx

2 comments:

  1. Oh the dreaded 'never say never'.
    *hugs*
    I know it might not mean much, but two year olds are hella fun!

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  2. haha! It's so true about the word "never"! When we decided to adopt from Ethiopia we had washed our hands of other options and now we are back choosing one of the "nevers". It's a crazy old world. ; ) Two year olds are a ton of fun! It's just different because we will loose the infant experience and it will be different in terms of attachment We have questions and concerns but we are feeling good about our decision. Definitely not something to take lightly, and I think we've done our research. xx

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