Thursday, November 25, 2010
Love & Common Sense
On Saturday it will be our 6 year anniversary. I thought in light of this I would share a little wisdom I have learned over the years about love.
At the end of a Miss Marple (my hero) episode a character remarks that he had no idea common sense is as strong an emotion as love. I suppose like many of us raised on Disney he too believed love stronger than anything. What I adore about this moment is that it brings to light the practical side of relationships. The non-romantic side of romantic relationships which are saturated by cheesy sentiments and a Hallmark monopoly.
I've been very lucky in love. I was in love twice before meeting my dear husband and neither relationship ended from a lack of love. I consider myself deeply fortunate. I'm not a big romantic though. I don't believe in soul mates and I'd rather watch anything than a romantic comedy. I do however believe my life to be filled with romance of the most integral kind.
The reason Doug and I have survived where my other relationships failed I believe is due to the practical side of things. As you get older you learn more and more who you are and finding someone with the same goals and beliefs as you can be life changing. This doesn't mean finding another you, but finding someone who compliments your life. In my case it doesn't hurt that we are equally peculiar.
I want to change the world. I want to leave the world a better place. I want to share my life with someone who dreams of the same.
I was very fortunate to find in Doug a husband who I love deeply as well as a man who believes in the same environmental, humanitarian principles as I do. To find a man who listens to the news and actively engages in this world towards it's betterment. A man who I can laugh with and share meaningful conversation with about international policies. A man who satisfies my unrelenting need for intellectual stimulation as well as can lighten up our home with a good ole fashioned fart fest.
Yesterday as I turned to him on the couch and said "lets have a slow motion fist fight" and proceeded to slowly throw a right hook only to be blocked by his two handed chest crusher, I realized he's prefect for me. I need someone who is as able to be childish and impulsive as I am and still be able to put on the grown up face and discuss the realities of our world. He's not afraid to look silly and not afraid to look around and learn about the state of today.
I love my husband more than anything but our marriage has not grown and survived based on love. There are connections between us just as important and long reaching as love, and while they may seem less romantic common sense tells me this is why our marriage prevails. Disney may not make a movie of us anytime soon but I believe my marriage to have more substance than any fairy tale ever written. I believe the daily reality of our marriage in every kiss goodbye and kiss hello has an abundance to be celebrated. An abundance of good ole fashioned common sense and love.