Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I Read A Book

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I finally finished a whole book. I used to read a book in a day but since December my concentration has been slow. My intellectual decline would have alarmed me I suppose had I not been so wrapped in grief. I'm not saying I'm usually a genius (or am I?) but I've been sufficiently slow at most things lately. In fact Doug also finished his first book last week and it was like a noble peace prize celebration in our house. We were pretty smug about our accomplishment. I was especially pleased since my book was of a higher literary challenge than Nancy Drew. I also bought "Girls in Pearls" one of my new favourite books. A historical look at pearls and pictures that are visually stunning. It begins with Botticelli and ends with Audrey Hepburn and Marily Monroe. What more could a girl ask for in a book?

I must confess my whole "take care of me" plan has had a few rocky moments. I was off to a good start but then the adoption world went skewed and that heavily affected my already off center coping. However, I read a book, went swimming, and even started baking again!! These are all major accomplishments. Plus I have surrounded myself with pink flowers. In colour therapy pink is good for self love and emotional comfort. I think those are imperative at the moment.

Doug and I are even going to meditation tonight at our church which I think will be amazing for us!! I've rather despised this past week for a few reasons the largest being that Doug has to go through this new adoption hell without his best friend. Nothing hurts me as much as that. I am struggling without Tim through this and I can't even imagine how Doug must feel. I realize it's now been three months since Tim died but to be honest it's taken three months for the shock to wear off. For those of you who have lost people suddenly and tragically I know you will understand that perfectly.

I've done yoga the past few days which I am also pretty smug about. My mom was here last week and we even organized our laundry room! That made my whole week to be honest. Is that sad? I just love organization...

My prayers are with Japan constantly. I am once again reminded how lucky we are and also the importance of preparation. Our emergency kits have been overhauled which has been good. I can't begin to imagine the grief and horror they have survived. I think they can use all of our prayers. This is an amazing organization we have donated to so I thought I would post here for anyone interested. They have already raised close to a million dollars which is amazing!

One thing I hope to always remember is how lucky I am. I may not have everything I want in life but each day I am so grateful. I am so fortunate and that makes everything else in our life a little more manageable. I'm not immune to pain and I will continue to feel and hurt but I am also humbled by the support I receive from all of you and most days I still wake up with a smile on my face.

lots of love and a deep heartfelt thanks to each and everyone of you who reads my blog and sends your thoughts. I am very very lucky indeed.

Jessa xx

photo's from
Canadian Memorial Church
Hill Crest Pool


  1. I haven't commented in a while, sorry... I'm glad to read you are taking care of yourself and are doing those small things that make up life and that they're helping you to heal - bit by bit. Lots of Love from London xo

  2. Let us know how the meditation tonight at your church goes! I hope you have a relaxing evening!

  3. I can so relate to the lack of concentration and so much congrats on finishing a book! That is great. You are often in my thoughts with positive wishes that these bumps in the adoption road are small and will soon be over.

  4. It is the little things like baking, reading, and meditating that will help you on your road to recovery. You are so strong my dear! Keep your head up. I am praying for you every step of the way.

  5. HEY, where were those cupcakes when I visited???

  6. Thanks so much everyone!! The support I get here is invaluable!! xx


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