Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I Should Have Known Better

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It was my own fault... After all I was the one wanting a nice relaxing massage and I probably should have known better. I likely should have asked questions such as "do you plan on making inappropriate comments during this massage?" I definitely should have known better than to disclose the fact we are adopting. After all that is usually just an invitation to pry into my personal life and make rude comments about adoption, money, and "screwed up kids". The next time someone asks me if I have children I'm going to respond that I eat children for breakfast. Just to be different. Just to impart a little shock into their lives so that as their jaw drops open I can enjoy a few moments of glorious silence.

It's been a long few weeks. Are you wondering what is going on with our adoption? Well, so am I. I know nothing other than there is a problem. When our agency went bankrupt I was terrified. I felt helpless and heartbroken and exactly like I feel now. Except now, I have a photo of my little man. I have a photo of a beautiful baby that is so embedded on my heart. I know who my baby is and now I'm just hoping I can bring him home.

I haven't slept in weeks and as my stress was starting to get out of control I thought a massage would be nice. I was wrong. Very very wrong. Upon arriving and answering questions about my back I told the RMT that I had been seeing a chiropractor for the last 4 months that had helped immensely. She responded that chiropractors were quacks. Not all chiropractors mind you just everyone that wasn't hers. The thing is my chiropractor has helped me. Seeing as this is my body I should be able to ascertain if I'm feeling better. The next 20 minutes was a sales pitch and I stopped mentioning my chiropractor all together feeling slightly berated by her forceful opinion. Next up was the children question. I don't know why I answered. I guess I wanted to stop talking about her Chiro so it seemed like a break. This of course was a mistake. I just wanted to relax. I wanted to be pampered. I didn't want "it's expensive isn't it?" and "do you actually pay for the child?" "Are you worried he has Aids?" "Are you infertile?" The real kicker was "I bet even at 8 months old he's experiencing horrible things." Basically everything someone could say to me to make me want to scream or cry. Eventually she went back to the pitch about her chiropractor and things relaxed a little.

I left an hour later in tears. I may never leave my house again. Ok. Maybe that's an exaggeration. While it was upsetting, I really should know better. After all, people who adopt are open to the same scrutiny by the general public one would expect during an FBI interrogation right? I hear walking across coals is relaxing... Next time I'll try that.



  1. SOme people can be so ignorant! Next time you should take a hot bath with epsom salts and have perfect silence!

  2. Oh! :((
    That stinks! I am so sorry! So sorry that there is something going on with your file(?)...the wait for court while you have that picture before you feels unbearable in the best of circumstances..I will be praying that whatever the issue is will be resolved quickly..and so sorry you had to listen to some nasty woman spout her rude opinions when you really needed some peace! Hang in there! Darci

  3. I am headed to an Epson salt bath now!! I am actually physically in more pain now then I was this morning. I think all my jaw clenching did a number on my neck.

    Darci thank you so much. It's been over 4 months now and since we don't even undertand what the problem is it's just killing us. I can't believe any of this is happening... It appears there isn't a problem with our file so to speak more that there is an issue with the adoption at the moment (if that makes sense?) It's really all Greek to me at the moment!


  4. Come on people, give your head a shake... think think think before you make a fool of yourself. Wow.

  5. It was pretty intense!! I know not everyone knows about adoption, but the comments were beyond just being clueless... It was definitely an experience!

  6. Wow! Just wow!!! Some people are just awful!

    I know what it is like to have that photo in your hand to not hear anything at all from your agency. We waited 18 months to bring our son home while other people waited 6. It wasn't fair.

    My heart goes out to you!

  7. I am so sorry you waited so long!! You are right it isn't fair. Thank you so much for sharing this. It helps to know I"m not alone. I feel like a lot of grieving is happening each day we miss him. xx

  8. OMG. I can't even imagine. I would seriously call with a complaint if she works in a shared location, that is ridiculous.


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